This is is the second part of our series on the Currency of Love.
Love comes in different forms depending on the occasion and the people involved. We shall consider 7-8 different types of love with the biblical foundation to back them up.
One major thing we have to understand is that love is a choice, not an endowment. so we can make the choice to love.
Types of love
1. Philia — Affectionate Love that runs deep in friendship. This happens when you find friends on the same wavelength as you. This love is not a romantic one. It is developed in the mind
John 15:15
No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because everything I have learned from My Father I have made known to you.
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
An example of such friendship is between David and Jonathan
2. Storge — Familiar Love: the love that exists between parents and child. This kind of love is developed and aided by good memories. As the name is, it suggests love built out of familiarity and closeness.
“Then the woman who was the real mother of the living child, and who loved him very much, cried out, “Oh no, my lord! Give her the child—please do not kill him!” But the other woman said, “All right, he will be neither yours nor mine; divide him between us!””
1 Kings 3:26 NLT
This love becomes stronger with obedience and service
“But Rebekah overheard what Isaac had said to his son Esau. So when Esau left to hunt for the wild game, she said to her son Jacob, “Listen. I overheard your father say to Esau,
But his mother replied, “Then let the curse fall on me, my son! Just do what I tell you. Go out and get the goats for me!””
Genesis 27:5-6, 13 NLT
““They will be Mine,” says the LORD of hosts, “on that day when I publicly recognize them and openly declare them to be My own possession [that is, My very special treasure]. And I will have compassion on them and spare them as a man spares his own son who serves him.””
Malachi 3:17 AMP
3. Pragma — Enduring Love - matured love that develops over time. This is the love that exists between couples who invest so much into their relationship. This love is intentional and comes from experience and experimenting with each other. It is Pragma and so is pragmatic in nature in the sense that you make efforts to build it till it sinks into your subconscious mind to become a part and parcel of you. This kind of love is developed and aided by the subconscious
“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24 AMP
Amos 3:3 - can two walk together unless they agree?
4. Eros — Romantic Love
Ludus - playful love
Eros is otherwise known as lust or infatuation.
While Ludus otherwise known as playful love is a flirtatious love found at the beginning of a relationship or honeymoon.
Both Eros and Ludus come when people engage in physical touch like hugging, kissing etc. They are awakened by hormones in the body and sparks desire.
Both kinds of love are developed and aided by the body.
God is not against romantic love as the bible portrays in the book of the Songs of Solomon
“Your lips, my [promised] bride, drip honey [as the honeycomb]; Honey and milk are under your tongue, And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.”
Song of Solomon 4:11 AMP
“His mouth is full of sweetness; Yes, he is altogether lovely and desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.””
Song of Solomon 5:16 AMP
But God stipulates where, how and when romantic love should take place
“Marriage is to be held in honour among all [that is, regarded as something of great value], and the marriage bed undefiled [by immorality or by any sexual sin]; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Hebrews 13:4 AMP
5. Mania — Obsessive Love
Mania is an obsessive love towards a partner. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness — known as codependency. Most cases of obsessive love are found in couples with an imbalance of love towards each other. An imbalance of Eros and Ludus is the main cause of Mania. With healthy levels of playful and romantic love, the harm of obsessive love can be avoided.
People with mania are always suspicious of everyone around their partner
God does not want us to place others above Him. The one with mania will place their object of love above God and that’s why they are heartbroken when their love is not returned maniacally.
This is not from God for anything that can lead to destructive behaviour is against God
“A tender, tranquil heart will make you healthy, but jealousy can make you sick.”
Proverbs 14:30 TPT
“For anger slays the foolish man, And jealousy kills the simple (naive).”
Job 5:2 AMP
6. Philautia — Self Love
Philautia is recognising your self-worth and not ignoring your personal needs. Self-love begins with acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being. It’s challenging to exemplify the outbound types of love because you can’t offer what you don’t have.
The Bible encourages us to take care of ourselves but not to elevate self above God or others
In Mark 12:31, Jesus talks about the second great commandment. Love your neighbour as yourself. If you don’t love yourself you can’t love others
7. Agape — Selfless Love
Agape is the highest level of love to offer. It’s given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. Offering Agape is a decision to spread love in any circumstances — including destructive situations. Agape starts from the heart to manifest in the physical for you cannot claim to love someone without showing it
Romans 5:8
“For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends.”
John 15:13 TPT
David Oyelowo OBE is a renowned British and Hollywood actor
He said his conversion came from God’s direct message to him that ‘there’s nothing you can do to make me love you less’ which he said contradicted his earlier opinion of God as judgemental. He came to know the unconditional love of God which is shown to us regardless of who we are or what we have or haven't done.
Some of the types of love here can have the characteristics of agape
Philia for Jonathan and David his friend was unconditional love as Jonathan was willing to give up his throne for David.
1 Sam 18:1-4
When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bonded to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. Saul took David that day and did not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the outer robe that he was wearing and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword, his bow, and his belt.
How far are you willing to go? What informs your choice to love?
You can watch the full teaching on this youtube video.
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